Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Introduction

Please allow me to explain myself before I can begin to post about my comedic dating life. My name on all dating sites is ShayRich, as of this point I am 23 and living in Los Angeles reigning from Massachusetts. I am not a prude in any sense, however that does not make me a slut. I feel as if all girls say this right before they tell the story about how they fucked their college's entire football team. I, however, like to say my actions are a result of my own fantasies. What girl doesn't like the idea of falling in love the moment you see the person, within weeks of knowing each other running off to a tropical island to get married and sending the families photos of it before they even knew the spouse existed. Maybe not taking that far or that fast but you get the idea. For now I'll just settle for taking the guy home after we "fall in love" on the first date. I've probably just watched too many Sex and the City episodes for it to not affect my brain in a seriously hormonal way anyway.

I've dated a lot. Most of my friends say they live through me, I can't tell if that's because they have more morals or if it's something else. I meet men in every way I can, within it sticking to my "has to be free or it's not for me" budget. Dating sites, iPhone apps, bars, book stores, art stores, any store actually, that sells things I'm interested in, name it, I've done it. Most of my luck has been through technology however. It makes sorting through people fast and simple. I've developed a keen eye for spotting the know-it-alls, LA natives, the people who wish they were LA natives, living off of parents, no job, struggling model/ actor/ personal trainer/ comedian/ band dude, he's lying about his age and, please let's not forget, the people who scam pussy through Instagram, those are my to-date favorites.

I'm sure you're saying "This dumb 23 year old, what does she know?" Let me answer that before I get tons of hate mail. NOTHING. I know nothing about dating, that's why I'm sitting on my couch right now typing this thinking about if I'm going break out the laser pointer or shoe lace later to play with my cat, instead of fucking some ripped tattooed guy, with a huge dick, that has me tied up and bent over, making me tear up with every smack or hair pull. Yup, cat lady and relationship blogger, officially the sign of knowing nothing. 

The only thing I can truthfully say I know is that I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I'm a giver and I give great blow jobs. All of my actions in my little dating world have been me trying my best to be successful at it. The out comes of what I try may not be the smartest choices looking back but at the time I thought they were. This blog has my intent to look at all my dating fiascoes in the most light and comedic way possible. Up until this point they have all been failures but "at least I got a story to tell from it."

XO

11 comments:

  1. I already look foward to the rest of your blog. I'm not a person who reads blogs. The very act if me commenting on a blog is rare, but so far what you have said seems worth reading what you still have to say. It can prove to be either entertaining or informative. Either way I'm looking forward to it.

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  2. You caught a reader. Looking forward to the rest.

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  3. As I sit on the toilet reading this blog the only thing that comes to mind is "give great blow jobs" then my mind wonders a bit just to come back to YOUR ONLY 23!!! Then I flush after reflecting on what I just read I think..... man I wish I was 23 again cause I was happier ..... that was only 7 years ago wow

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  4. I think we have the female counterpart to max tucker on the rise......:)

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  5. while I was reading this blog so many crazy things came to mind wishing you were here so I can fulfill those thoughts. looking forward to read more.

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  6. i have a feeling this is going to be a favorite blog to read.

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  7. Yep, cat lady for sure..

    lol

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  8. I'm going to just say that I think we may have had very similar dating experiences especially due to how you/I have met these guys. I have plenty of "stories to tell" all because I'm trying to find the passionate love that sweeps you off your feet almost instantly but instead have met and experienced some crazy people, talented people, interesting people, or straight up psychos. Thank you for sharing Brewin. <3 Sagira .

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